Welcome to my house
of extreme irritability

Dare to come in?

Shut the door
watch your step
there are eggshells
on the floor

Speak if you dare
(the cat will have your tongue)
and mind the web
the spider has made
you’ll easily fall in a trap

No need to be squeamish
come along
I’m sure I can find something
to offer you that isn’t offended

Avoid the sour grapes, though,
they see the worst in everything
(and looks can kill)

Come now,
I’m not such a dreadful bride
Am I? I even put on my wedding dress
to remind you how fun
it is to live with me
in my house of
extreme irritability

Play along for a little while
It’s all I ask.

Humor me.

Smart man.
(I would have your head for that!)

illustration by Harry Clarke

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